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January 4, 2006
Subway Does Not Spell Snuggle
Since the B61 has been rerouted onto Hicks Street for the next century, my commute into Manhattan has improved greatly. Instead of the dreary view of the lower Manhattan skyline, I can now chart the speed of the bus by gazing out at the BQE traffic below us. I am happy to report that the average crawl of rush hour beats the speed of the B61 by at least 2 miles per hour. But I digress�
Already about a half hour late to work by the time we hit 72nd Street, I opted to get off the 2 and wait for the local, as time has taught me that boarding the 1 at 96th Street is only asking for trouble. The train was crowded, as predicted, though not nearly as oppressive as it would be three stops later, so I pushed in. One seat was open and I grabbed it, not looking closely at who my partner in the two-seater would be, as my nose was buried in a book.
The man turned out to be sleeping and appeared homeless. Neither bothered me, so I stayed. One stop later, the train lurched and the man was jostled to semi-consciousness. With closed eyes and a hood drawn almost completely over his face, he yawned, stretched and proceeded to snuggle directly into my shoulder, face nearly in my armpit.
Blink.
Now, this did not seem like a malicious move. I do not think that the guy realized what he was doing or whom he was using as a body pillow. Still, I was appropriately dismayed. This is the second time in three months that someone has slept on me unknowingly. I think that I need to start wearing one of those leather jackets with spikes on it, or perhaps skip some showers as to make my presence more known.
Posted by callalillie at January 4, 2006 9:35 AM | City Life , This is Not Your Living Room
awww, you have a subway boyfriend. how cute.
Posted by: tien at January 4, 2006 9:54 AM
I had a subway "girlfriend" this summer on the way to Coney Island with my visiting parents. She was obviously high on something pretty heavy and kept leaning into me as she dropped in and out of consciousness. I didn't mind the leaning, but I finally stood up after my mom said in a stage whisper "she's going to puke." She didn't, but I wasn't taking any chances.
As for skipping showers, I would worry that the snugglers might find that quite endearing given their usual state of showeredness.
Posted by: Dope on the Slope at January 4, 2006 10:10 AM
Leaning is one thing. Nestling in for a long winter's nap is another. I have no qualms in smacking leaners with my shoulders. This guy was a special case...I finally had to wiggle out from under him.
Posted by: corie at January 4, 2006 11:24 AM
Maybe he wasn't quite so oblivious of his surroundings as he seemed. Perhaps you should add electrificaton to the spikes on the aforementioned leather jacket.
Posted by: Dope on the Slope at January 4, 2006 12:12 PM
Or just cover yourself in cow manure... people would be less likely to want to snuggle you. :)
Posted by: Lauren at January 4, 2006 2:56 PM
Next time I spot you on the subway, I'm going to take a nap on you.
Posted by: beth at January 4, 2006 5:31 PM
You know, they make these electrified mats to keep cats and other animals from jumping on your furniture (for training purposes). Maybe you can rig your jacket with one of these by putting the electrodes on your shoulders, arms, and lap.
Posted by: Dennis at January 4, 2006 5:46 PM
Considering I spend a LOT of time with you, my vote is for the spikes (with electricity!) option, not the no-showering-or-manure options.
signed,
the-non-subway-boyfriend
Posted by: Alexis at January 4, 2006 5:59 PM
This deaf family once was on the train with me (at least the parents were deaf, or maybe just one of them, or maybe they all just liked sign language). The parents were on one side of the car and the kids, somehow, ended up on either side of me. The five and nine year-old boys proceeded to fall asleep on me. As I'm never around kids, my momentary wtf soon became, well, heart-warmed. The parents, deep in some sign-language confab, eventually looked over at their kids snuggling the man. But I was cool with it, and, since I had learned the sign language alphabet from some cheerleader in highschool as a way to communicate accross a room, I was able to eek out a sign-language: "I-T-S O-K".
Posted by: manhattan offender at January 6, 2006 11:33 AM
hey corie! been awhile... we need to do catch-up dinner or drinks sometime soon.
i was procrastinating at work by reading gawker (of course, since that's what it's for) and noticed your blog was linked from an item on there. cool.
thought i'd say hi and happy new years. hope all is good with you, let's talk soon! xo margo
Posted by: margo at January 6, 2006 1:51 PM
hey i'm not manhattan offender... it posted my comment wrong.
Posted by: margo at January 6, 2006 1:53 PM
