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June 13, 2005
Increments
I used to think of life in four-year increments. In fourth grade, I remember thinking toward eighth grade, unable to imagine what life would yield. In eighth grade, I was awed by the fact that in four years I would graduate from high school. This echoed even deeper at twelfth grade plus four. I do not think in fours any longer; life is simply not that linear.
EFH and I have been friends since the 9th grade. EFH was one of the coolest people I knew, which at the time involved Dr. Martins, dyed hair, and Jane�s Addiction; I idolized her and did everything in my teenaged power to become part of her world. But besides the infatuation with hardcore and goth, EFH was also incredibly smart. Once our friendship formed, I think that we realized, on some subconscious 15-year old level, that there was more to our bond than being suburban alternative. We had a lot in common.
Throughout high school, I looked up to EFH, and she never even knew it. We competed in classes, hung out on roofs and each other�s kitchens. We attended two colleges right next to one another and shared similar emotional strife. We drank coffee by the gallon and talked of adult lives not yet formed. She went to Africa our senior year and we kept in touch with letters, delayed by thousands of miles.
Yesterday, while sitting in a Park Slope playground, I watched EFH with Dimsum. I studied the look of overwhelming love in her eyes, the warmth and tenderness the emanated from her as she held her son�s armpits and helped him walk, like a tiny drunken sailor, up the playground steps.
Nearly fifteen years from when we first met, we are a far cry from combat boots and Manic Panic hair. I don�t think that either of us ever imagined that we would be where we are right now�how could we�the leap from fifteen to twenty-eight is a chasm that no teenager could ever span. I looked at Dimsum, who in two months has changed from infant to baby, whose legs and back have grown stronger and fingers and hands now control things that they could not only weeks ago.
On Sunday evening I gazed at Dimsum and did the four-year calculation; as an older child ran by, squealing and throwing a handball, I realized that in four years he would be preparing for kindergarten, then fifth grade, then middle school, high school, and beyond.
Life moves in such radical increments; growth can be so fast, yet so slow-- all at the same time. Like intertwining cycles, our lives are always pushing forward, the change realized only by our own awareness. How overwhelmingly beautiful.
Posted by callalillie at June 13, 2005 8:39 AM | Introspect
And from what I understand, Baby Bjorns rule!
Posted by: matt at June 13, 2005 10:24 AM
Dimsum seems to like it, though it looks kind of sweaty to me. Then again, I think he prefers, um, face forward into mommy's chest.
Posted by: corie at June 13, 2005 10:26 AM
you really are a terrific writer -- hope you know it!
Posted by: Abby at June 13, 2005 1:40 PM
gorgeous picture, efh, and dimsum are both beauties!
Posted by: gg at June 14, 2005 4:39 PM
