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December 6, 2005

Wedding Question #5

Great goodness, we nearly forgot...

Who should marry us? Serious and comical suggestions will be entertained. We have no idea where to begin on this one.

Posted by callalillie at December 6, 2005 1:55 PM | Wedding


We have a very dear friend who happens to be a Universal Life Minister. We asked her to officiate, and she did a fabulous job of putting us through our paces to come up with a meaningful ceremony for us. I had figured at first that it would just be a formality, but she showed us the value of coming up with a ceremony that made the whole process much more valuable than I ever thought it could be.

Know anyone like that?

Posted by: jane at December 6, 2005 2:01 PM

Nope, but maybe someone out on the interwebs might...we'll take any suggestions. I like what you are describing, though.

Posted by: corie at December 6, 2005 2:05 PM

The Father from 7th Heaven. I mean, err, I heard there was a WB show in which the father was a minister.

Posted by: Maura at December 6, 2005 2:17 PM

I thought you were going with Elvis. I hear he does a nice ceremony.

Posted by: Anika at December 6, 2005 2:23 PM

I completely agree with Anika. Or if hes unavailable, a damn good impersonator.

Posted by: discostu at December 6, 2005 2:30 PM

Ha ha, remember several months ago when I asked you this question in hopes of getting suggestions from you? Anyway, we ended up using someone from the Brooklyn Ethical Society, which went pretty well. No religion, but lots of heart. Email me if you want any details.

Posted by: Liz at December 6, 2005 3:04 PM

I also have a friend who's a Universal Life Minister (in case you don't know -- this is the church that ordains people over the internet). He helped us put together a ceremony that friends still talk about. It was thoughtful, funny, moving and, best of all, the perfect picture of my husband and me.

He's done four weddings besides ours -- all for good friends. We've been encouraging him to branch out and share the love with people he doesn't know. He's REALLY good at this. Here's his info: Jesse Hendrich,

Posted by: jenn at December 6, 2005 3:15 PM

Posted by: j. at December 6, 2005 3:17 PM

I'm getting married in June - our officiant is Rev Hilda Gieco ( She's really really cool, and down to earth - and will personalize the ceremony. I live in Carroll Gardens getting married in Suffolk. I may be wrong but I dont think getting married by a ULC minister is legally binding in NYC.

Posted by: Lianne at December 6, 2005 3:29 PM

"I may be wrong but I dont think getting married by a ULC minister is legally binding in NYC."
That's true. Jesse is also a Justice of the Peace and legal in NYC -- I should have metioned that before.

Posted by: jenn at December 6, 2005 3:36 PM

We found my sister's rabbi through the Vows section of the NYTimes, because usually the announcements list the name of the rabbi or priest or officiant. One Vows column seemed particularly cool, so we looked up the rabbi and she turned out to be available and extremely cool as well (she did the ceremony in English, Hebrew and Spanish).

Posted by: Nancy at December 6, 2005 4:37 PM

sam and i were married by dan rous, who i happened to know beforehand through many connections, but was perfect because he specializes in interfaith weddings. i don't know what type of wedding your planning on having, but everyone commented on how great he was so i can get you his info if you're interested.

Posted by: dahl at December 6, 2005 5:07 PM

Dan Rous sounds very interesting, so does the rabbi who does the ceremony in English, Hebrew, and Spanish.

Posted by: PER at December 6, 2005 6:17 PM

My husband and I were married by a ship's captain, on a dive boat near Fort Lauderdale. How do you feel about a six-foot tall, bald, ship's captain named . . . . Kris Kristofferson?
(No, not the famous one.)

Posted by: Leslie at December 6, 2005 6:20 PM

My vote is for the fathers of the bride and groom. I am sure then there will be a lot of emotion and love throughout the ceremony, and it would be a good way to honor these wonderful men.

Posted by: skutchie at December 6, 2005 6:40 PM

I can do it if you like. I'm legal.

Posted by: Bill at December 6, 2005 7:16 PM

I married my friends Vendela and Herman, and could marry y'all as well, providing I can wear the bridal helmet during the ceremony.

It is a sweet tradition in my circle of friends to ask a person close to the couple to get ordained on the internets and perform the service. I married my friends, which is how I met Larry, and our friend gorjus married us. It's nice to hear the words that bind you to another human come out of the mouth of someone you both know and trust.

Plus, it's fun to say "I married Herman" or "gorjus married Larry" at parties.

Posted by: Sally at December 6, 2005 7:45 PM

Does New York State or City have temporary marrying permits? You know, one-day justice of the peace permits so anyone can be the officiant. Or, just go before the city clerk a day or two before to make it legal, then have whatever ad lib officiant you want.

Posted by: Divaah46 at December 6, 2005 10:04 PM

Marty Markowitz. That would be interesting.

Posted by: pantrygirl at December 7, 2005 1:16 AM

These are awesome. We're totally following through with investigating a bunch.

My vote would probably involve the bridal hat in some way, though I know Lex's would lean toward a ship captain. Hopefully, we'll find some good inbetween. It sucks that internet ordained peeps can't marry us legally anymore. That probably would have been our universal 1st choice.

Posted by: corie at December 7, 2005 9:11 AM

Your parents (and his) should officiate. If you're close to them that is. ;)

Posted by: Lily Bleu at December 7, 2005 1:29 PM

Mr Bones is available but his honorarium is pretty steep

Posted by: ChrisG at December 7, 2005 4:53 PM

Preacher: James R. Covington, New York

Pros: The Unitarian minister's office was located within blocks of our venue and had done weddings at the church before. He took enough time to get to know us without being prying or invasive. And while he offered a counseling program, he didn't push it. During the ceremony, he connected with us personally and kept it light-hearted enough to keep our guests smiling. We had several people tell us it was the best wedding service they'd heard.

Cons: None.

Posted by: Dennis at December 8, 2005 10:54 AM

We were married in NYC in October by my sister who got ordained online and had no problem registering with NYC as an officiant. Has that changed?

Posted by: Alaina at December 8, 2005 2:51 PM

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