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August 4, 2005
Starved
Several years ago, I began reading a young woman's journal about living with an eating disorder. She was about sixteen at the time, and I think the page originated as a safe, albeit painfully public place for her to write about her disease in a brutally honest way. It brought me a sad, somewhat sick comfort to read someone's struggles that were strikingly similar to my own experiences, years before. In a sense, her words served as a thread between my own demons and my ever strengthening health.
Her openness and ability to express pain publicly amazed me. Often, I felt an overwhelming sense of jealousy. At the same time, there was incredible pain and anger�an almost How dare you release these things to the world, where someone on the cusp of a disorder could find them and use them to their own demise? I went through periods where I wanted to reach through Blogger and violently shake her. There were moments when I would type a tirade that read something to the effect of GET OVER IT YOU�RE WASTING YOUR LIFE, but I never hit "post." In four years, I have not commented once but to this day, I still visit the site. I just want to know how she is doing.
The blog world gave this kid an outlet (and we can debate as to whether it is an actual outlet or an enabling forum some other time) for her ailment. It gave me a window into someone's private pain. I find this both fascinating and incredibly disturbing.
What is my point? FX's new comedy series Starved premieres tonight. Being that I do not watch television except for the Simpsons, the occasional Family Guy, and a binge or two of Discovery Health, I had no idea what this show was about until yesterday. When I saw the promo, I was hit with a mixed bag of giggles and discomfort. It made me think about the blog lurking that I have partook in. But mostly, it made me think about how we deal with painful issues, what humor is acceptable, and how publicly honest people can or should be.
I would never dictate the latter, but I do grapple with the former. Starved looked kind of funny. Actually, really funny. But at the same time, it kicked me in the stomach, leaving me a little breathless, unsure, and ashamed.
I am as far from PC as one can get and I know how to laugh at myself. I am way beyond the stage of puffing my feathers and blaming the media for my body image (models might feed the fire, but I can�t blame anything but my own psychoses for the years spent agonizing over the double digits that I believed would make or break my existence), however my primary reaction after laughter was Is it really a good thing to trivialize this?
There have been some comparisons made between Starved and Seinfeld, and am curious about how the humor is handled, and whether it can skirt the line between funny-offensive and offensive-painful. Monk, for example, can be highly entertaining. The difference, however, is that people die from eating disorders. Some might from OCD, as well, but it is usually via other psychological complications. Perhaps the offensive-painful reaction comes only to those who have experienced what is being laughed at. Or maybe a little trivializing can be a good thing. I am very curious.
Posted by callalillie at August 4, 2005 1:49 AM | Inquiry , Introspect
First, let me say I did not watch Starved--no cable. I did see an interview with the show's creator. He said he suffered an eating disorder for many years and that this was a way for him to deal with some of those issues. He stated that eating disorders are not funny, but humor helps him sort things out in a way. Others who previewed the show and were involved with treating
eating disorders were not amused. I think one must decide what works for them. As you well know, this can be deadly serious. There is also a part of all of us that can laugh at certain aspects of a terrible thing, like whistling in the dark. There should still be a healthy respect for the damage that can be done.
Posted by: Vickie at August 4, 2005 7:20 AM
You may be right, that people who've experienced it may find it to be more offensive/troubling than others...Although I have a pretty healthy sense of humor, I don't find this amusing - a sitcom about a serious disease? There has never been a point where I sit back and laugh over my issues. I'm not about to start now.
Posted by: Dy at August 4, 2005 9:23 AM
I'm going to play devil's advocate today, because obviously I am conflicted myself.
I think I need to see the show to see how I feel about it. I have, from time to time, laughed about my old behaviors, even though they were incredibly serious. I mean, Seinfeld made fun of the a guy who had a stroke and various other issues and diseases that most would not find funny. The difference is that Seinfeld never really developed those peoples' characters-- they were side plots for an episode. I wish I had cable.
Posted by: corie at August 4, 2005 9:28 AM
Maybe the rub is that people will find this show amusing. They will laugh and find hilarious what people who have suffered from eating disorders take so seriously. Essentially, they will be laughing at you (and me too) and it's not always fun or comfortable to be laughed at. To have your most serious peculiarties trivialized... even if it is funny.
Posted by: Cynthia at August 4, 2005 9:53 AM
Humor has always been a palliative device. I don't see what possible harm it could have beyond the initial discomfort of confronting the show's apparent audacity. I mean, do the afflicted really want their condition to be confined to the "sanctity" of the treatment center or the therapist's office? At the very least, a show like this (in theory; I know nothing about it really) brings the disorder out of the shadows--especially at a time of hyper pop culture consumption. If we commit ourselves to taking offense, then we are only protecting our designations as "diseased;" weirdly, a source of strength for many. As long as the humor is not excessively reductive or mean-spirited, I say right on. And if the guy is himself a sufferer, then it's just good old fashioned self-deprecation, employed like any number of humorists who have tried to infuse levity into their pain. Double right on. How could it possibly trivialize the difficulty or negate the underlying issues?
Posted by: Will at August 4, 2005 11:44 AM
your site is awesome. Are you a photographer? Love the look and feel.
Posted by: v at August 4, 2005 12:46 PM
My dear, you do have cable. At the summer home. Please use it. And now that I am BACK -- I'll watch with you.
Posted by: Alexis at August 4, 2005 2:12 PM
