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This is stuff I can offer sympathy and empathy about, but no real advice, except to think about what you absolutely can and can't endure, and how long you can endure the things you're willing to, in order to get to the next place.

As someone who's content with not spawning, for various reasons, I'm not sure that I can offer much advice, because that's a huge, life-altering decision.

start popping babies and sell them to the highest bidder?

and that's the one problem with my apartment, only one bedroom. then again, downstairs could be a pretty cool bedroom for a kid, but maybe a bit too nice.

i just had a vision of little mini-maos running around. it made me giggle.

These are questions I'm also grappling with daily. Except I like my job and it is completely tied to NY, which complicates things in a similar way.

mini tien maos or chairman mao?

heh, long-haired tien maos.

Sounds like it's time for an appointment with your friendly-neighborhood NY Life agent!

:)

J and I are looking wistfully at 2 bedrooms, and things like this have come out of our mouths: "we could always put 2 kids in the big room together, and you and I can get bunk beds for the smaller room..." or "maybe we can make room for the baby in this 1 bedroom, if the walk in closet is a nursery?"

Try being married for a while first before making the leap to becoming parents. That will give you time to amass enough income for a new house and let you find a more satisfying job. Plus, you can see if your cat-raising styles mesh well enough to carry over to baby-raising.

Oh, believe, we are in NO rush to become parents...but the sad reality of NYC dictates that you plan as far ahead as possible. Neither of us want to have to move twice more in 5 years...plus, saving for a 2BR apt and a life that will, at some point, involve a child, is far more expensive than raising 4 cats!

boo. hoo.

if you figure it out, PLEASE let me know.

I'm with Nicole! I don't have a husband or babies to think about, but I'm going to need either a new roommate or a new place to live in a few months, and thinking about that has brought up a whole list of questions quite similar to yours. I like my job, but hate my commute. I can't really see myself finding another school to work at given the amount of energy I've invested in my current school, and I like my job, but I also like my neighborhood... plus, when I think of moving, it's not like there are tons of great options out there that are reasonably priced and would make a real dent in my commute. Suffice to say that it's easy to feel somewhat trapped as a young professional or whatever here in NYC!

As John Lennon said..."Life is what happens to you while you're busy making plans." To some extent life happens and no amount of planning can prepare you. Follow your heart as you have been and you'll be fine. Things fall into place as they will.

What Sue said Corie. Whilst planning is sensible, there comes a point (which you sound like you are at) where there are just too many variables. So dont waste your time and energy worrying about them. Life is for living, so live it, do what you can to enjoy it, and deal with things as and if they arise. It'll all work out in the end.

that sounds very similar to a conversation sam and i had this afternoon - we were both commenting how we can't wait for the point where we can relax for a bit and say "this is where we want to be in life", rather than constantly be knowing that in the next few months there is something else we need to do.

The apartment and money situation might not be as precarious as you think. My sister and her husband bought an apartment in Riverdale two years ago, did some work on it (my brother-in-law did the work himself) and are flipping it. They'll make about 100,000 dollar profit on the place. Same thing could happen to you. That's a nice nice chunk of change for a down payment on a bigger place, which is my sister's plan.

Oh, Calla, Just get the 2 bedroom and if you are really ready for domesticity, and by that I mean your life will become a lot more complicated, have that chile, or two. You get there one step at a time and it doesn't always work out the way you figure it should. But it does work out. Us humans don't have a an indoor cat's life, and as Forest Gump says......
You take your chances.

who is Nancy--I just posted that one at 5:57AM

Jane

Well... now you have some idea what was happening to Greg and I when we decided to move to the DC area. Clearly, we didn't see a solution for us that could keep us in NYC. But we are likely to move back. That was our solution (not at all a recommendation): to get on our feet else where and return more secure. I'll let you know if it worked if we ever make it back (it's a daily disucssion in our house).

will and i dated for four years before we even broached this subject; even then and still now our conversations about money/apts./jobs/kids end with us sitting on our hands and laughing about how we are shit broke. but who cares, (i mean, it would be nice to be able to buy an apt., i'm not gonna lie), but we are having a good time and are pretty sure we are not going to end up on the street anytime soon. and while my salary is laughable, i am loving my job and am not ready to move on until i get preggers or when i turn 32, whichever comes first. so please, i implore you, enjoy your first year together and worry about this other stuff later.

why do people always want to turn love into a long-term business venture?
'security' + love = emotional and psychological death.
my advise: don't get married, DON'T have children, and stay in love.

i don't see getting married as a long term business venture, at all. there's nothing wrong with planning for your life, or wanting certain ways of life. and certainly, marriage does not end in falling out of love for everyone. i have parents with a 30+ year marriage to prove that one.

And your almost parents in law, have just happily, celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary.
Having goals and aspirations is healthy and a lovely way to be as a couple.
Isabel, I hope you will find love in marriage and the oppotunity to share the love with a child.

thanks but no thanks. :)